Today we are featuring a guest blog post by Chakradance™ practitioner Pollyanna Blanco! Check out the video, and her blog continues below it:
When I first discovered the healing dance practice of Chakradance™ it resonated deeply with me. I was so ready to expand my movement experience. Passionate about dance my entire life, I had spent many years overly pre-occupied with how the outer expression of my dancing appeared, and it was gradually starting to feel empty and joyless.
Was I pointing my feet? Was my styling looking good? Why didn’t I have better turn-out? While I grew in valuable ways through these experiences, I knew there was something essential I had missed out on along the way. Basically that ‘something’ left me feeling lop-sided, and out of balance inside.
Often times when my dancing received praise for looking good on the outside, the insecurities and tension gurgling within me didn’t match the outer expression.
And when I felt happy and passionate inside, my exuberant dancing received feedback that was less than flattering. It was like there was a disconnection between my inner and outer experience. I longed to bridge this seeming gulf, to discover greater harmony and unity.
Chakradance™ was such a refreshing contrast. What appealed to me was that it is about taking a journey inwards. Dancing with my eyes closed for an extended period of time and really listening to what was going on inside was powerful. I had done seated meditation, but never a dancing one. For me, dance is one of the most vulnerable acts of personal expression. One where truly hiding from myself is not possible, unless I am putting up an inner fight, draining my energy from holding myself back to avoid exposure.
For the first time, I relaxed my inner critic and inner dictator. All of me was there to feel, face, and know, and I was open to it because it felt so safe. No longer was I pushing aside my feelings and succumbing to pressures about meeting external aesthetic standards or scowling at myself in the mirror. At last, I was creating a whole new sense of acceptance. Allowing myself to just be with the music sparked authentic curiosity and inner exploration.
In other moments, a sense of compassion opened me to the tender spots I had been harsh about with myself in the past. The more regularly I practised this moving meditation I began to notice the subtle shifts within me. I would be out dancing socially and my self-consciousness was gone.
A playfulness, a joy began bubbling up instead and I felt much more at home and at ease in my body. Dancing became sacred again. It allowed me to form an intimate connection with my body, soul, heart, and spirit. I now see this inner relationship as the foundation upon which any other dance form I could do would rest.
That being said, the biggest shift for me has been away from thinking my way through life, disconnected or out of sync with my body’s being, to awakening into the dancing process as it applies to living each moment. Now I am dancing my dreams into a beautiful reality. Most of all, I am dancing like no one is watching and I’ve never been happier!